Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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