discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just found puke in my bra..
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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