There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
