I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
