I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
