fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
