Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize