Do you still have your period?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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