If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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