How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
