We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
