I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
