He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
