why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
