The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
