i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
