you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
