she looked like the before picture.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
