I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
