I can tuck mytits in my pants
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
