stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
