Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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