ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
