Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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