Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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