My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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