It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
