Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
