I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
