theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
