Im at strip club and am horny
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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