That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
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adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
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