let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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