I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
