got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
