Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
my liver is dry heaving
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
