marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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