i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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