epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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