Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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