I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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