I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
