you're like a bully in the Christmas story
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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