When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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