she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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