yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
