No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
