Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
