How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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