She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you inspire me to be a worse person
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
