It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
