Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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