My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
