all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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