You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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