I skipped work to stalk him.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
