if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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