i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
