Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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