In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
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Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
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I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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